Tag Archives: Marijuana Fuelled Murders

Things go entirely to plan in country number 2 (warning, there’s a twist at the beginning, middle and end). Karakum desert, Turkmenistan to Nukus, Uzbekistan.

So, we were rudely awakened by the dustmen aka Mr Dima at about 6am the next morning, just when the sun was starting to come up and we could actually get some sleep. It had been so cold in our desert tent that we’d all just spent the night shivering and hoping that we wouldn’t get hypothermia. Susan, who isn’t too fond of being dragged out of bed at the best of times, was in a horrendous mood so Jill and Vita helped Dima pack the tents up and load the stuff into the jeep while she took her cup of cowboy coffee (made by Dima on the camp fire) down to the gas crater to warm herself up, since it was her birthday after all. There was only 1 other person around the crater so watching the light creep over the desert while DJ Gas Crater hissed and spat was a fine way to spend her first morning as a 40 year old. As magnificent as the sunrise was, it was still DJ Gas Crater who turtelly sturl the shurr and even with lots of attempts it was impossible to catch just how stunning it all was on camera. When she wandered back up again  everything was packed up and Susan was in a lot finer fettle so we all piled into the jeep, said a tearful yet fond farewell to the new guest DJ for Marijuana Fuelled Murders and set off for the Uzbekistan border.

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Venture into Uzbekistan…

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Dnipropetrovsk Episode One: The Northern Menace.

It seems a million years away reading our last post about Kiev and even from the point in time when we were writing it! So it seems we have been brought back a billion years to getting off the night train in Dnipropetrovsk. Despite the horrendous hour of 6:30am, Sexy Jill (as she is now named to avoid confusion with our half a cup Jill) and Stuart had dragged themselves out of bed to come and meet us so we were treated to the most joyful welcoming greeting ever. We were impressed with Sexy Jill’s adopted Eastern European grim demeanour, fur coat, high heels and full make up even at that hour. We were escorted through the wide almost empty streets of Dnipro, trying not to smile at people as apparently it makes them jealous that you are happier than them, enjoying some strange looks for wearing vests in what apparently was -1 but we don’t believe it was, and can now understand “What are you doing! Put your coat on, you’ll get sick!” in both Russian and Ukrainian. We arrived at Jill’s lovely apartment – aka The Hammered and Sickle – where she proudly displayed the amount of alcohol she had bought for our visit, a challenge we were afraid to accept in our delicate condition, but we did manage a refreshing breakfast Sommersby over a nice catch up before poor Sexy Jill had to go off and teach her nursery class. Put the rest of this in your face

Promotional Photo Shoot Opportunity‏

Hi Dave!

We saw your work on rockthenorth.com and were also pointed in your direction by your good friend Traci Island. We are an experimental electro spastic quartet from Moldova and are looking for a local alternative interest photographer who can think outside the box to shoot some provokative promotional shots for our forthcoming, self titled debut album “Marijuana Fuelled Murders” which I’m sure you’ve already heard of as it is slowly becoming the buzz word on the unergroung scene (a new mix of underground and grunge – as I’m sure you are aware).
The cartistic concept of our croject is to bring to the pubics attention our glam and gritty fundamentalist proactive mission statement and core values – think Boney M meets Sir Winston Churchill (maybe we can get some poppies (and poppers) involved?). Do you think you’re up to the challenge? Please be aware that we do have in mind some very risque shots, do you have a problem shooting on full frontal male nudity? Do you have a lense big enough for one of our majestic yet diminutive male members? We will provide our own make up artists, warrobes and fluffers. Location wise we have heard of a place near East Bolden Metro station where there is an amazing tree deity which we would like to be photographed in the throws of pagan worship to. I do hope that this does not contravene your religious beliefs. If you would like us to commit sacreligious acts against your enemy religion then we would be happy to confer on that topic as a matter of thanks for your endeavours in our cartistic croject.
Anyway, the balls is in your sink!
Hope to hear from you coon,

Marijuana Fuelled Murders.

For your reading pleasure we have included the lyrics to one of No 1 Molavian hits (please excuse the translation) :

Subpoena your sub-penis
It really is quite heinous
My caravan in Venus
Has a sink and a loo

Subpoena your sub-penis
I really couldn’t feel this
I just don’t want to ream this
Or cover it in poo

Subpoena your sub-penis
You really oughtta see this
A baboon in some Chinos
That looks just like you

Subpoena your sub-penis
I think you might be Amieesh
I want to build your barneesh
With bits of wood and glue.

We hope you’re impressed by our lyricular semantics and etamology.
Come and be part of our parts Dave – As we say in Moldova – Мы хоп у вас много хороших киска – или осел, если вы предпочитаете.

 

Susan and Jill show you how to Acquire a Choir for Hire – email sent to Amics de la Unio Catholic choir n Barcelona, aged 11 – 17

Hola Amics de la Unio!

We are an exciting new composing duo from the United Kingdom, Lamb and Pea! We are currently working on a dynamic avant garde musical entitled “Marijuana Fuelled Murders”, an enticing, evocative, memorable piece delving deep into the dangers of youthful drug addction and how with the power of the Lord you can bring yourself back from the briney brink of bestruction. We are looking for an all singing, all dancing effervescent yet gritty collective to join us in this bizarre yet compelling adventure of love, drugs, loss and woe and the triumph over the face of adversity and the salvaton of Pynamar.
Would you be interested in such a life changing opportunity?! Well then, we invite you to audtion to become a part of our groundbreakng project, for which of course all travel expenses, accomodation and remuneration plus a mutually agreed upon share of the profits will be provided then please email us at: marijuanafuelledmurders@live.co.uk
We look forward to your response,

Lamb and Pea.

 

Surprisingly, we have yet to receive a response…